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My last ride

434 Views 4 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  Kermit in Va.
While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.

Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked,
"Are you okay?

"As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low-cut blouse with cleavage to die for...

"I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.

She said, "Get in and I'll take you home, so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head."

"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"

"Oh, come now, I'm a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."

Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."

We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."

"Don't be silly!", she said with a smile. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"Still in the ditch with the Harley, I guess."
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Golf shot

This one may get pulled

Two friends were out golfing and a third guy pulled up on his golf cart and asked he could join. They said sure.
They played a couple holes and noticed that the guy that joined had a rifle in with his clubs.
They asked about it and he said I’m a professional hit man, I get paid to shoot people.
One guy asked if he could look at the rifle.
It was a fine sniper rifle with a high end scope.
He’s looking through the scope and swings the scope over to gaze at his house which fronted the golf course.
As he’s looking at his house he sees through his bedroom window and his wife is visible and naked. And he sees their pool boy in the bedroom also naked.
He was furious, and turned to the hit man and asked what do you charge. The hit man says $5000 a shot.
The guy says, ok, shoot her in the head and the pool boy in the penis.
So the hitman takes a good rest and takes a long aim.
The guy says what’s taking you so long, pull the trigger.
The hit man says, hold on a bit, I think I can save you $5000.
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I didn't know that Birdog.( Dasher Dome) had a job as a Pool Boy?
He said he just passed out pills 1 or 2 days a

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