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The gorilla and Ole Birdog

A small zoo in Kentucky obtained a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla
was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Ole Birdog, a ******* part-time pharmacist responsible for cleaning the animal cages.

Ole Birdog, like most ********, had little sense but possessed ample
ability to satisfy a female of any species.

The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Ole BD was
approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the
gorilla for $500.00?

BD showed some interest, but said he would have to think the
matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would
accept their offer, but only under four conditions

1. "First", BD said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The
Keeper quickly agreed to this condition

2. "Second", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this." The
Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

3. "Third", BD said, "I want all the children raised Southern
Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

4. And last, The ole Birdog said "I'll need another week to come up with
the $500.00."

alas We know him well=
Doc :D :D
 

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doc-your typing has really improved since-----

you starting writing your fiction on this board. I think you could pass 101 english literature at Tenn. Tech now. How long did it take you to type this out or did Nurse Goooodbody type it for you. You have got to get a lap top and mobile internet so you can check varmint board while you are on the road trips. and by lap top i am not referring to Nurse Gooooobody!!!
Well got to get back into reloading dungeon. got some 30 br and 6 br loaded and got to do some 6-284 next.
Junebug brought a 4 foot by 4 foot 1/4 inch metal sighter to the birdog range yesterday. I think we are going back to pick up a 2' x 5' by 1/2" piece this morning.
 

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As my Son would say.........That's just WRONG!!

Whew, hadn't heard that one in a long time. You did a nice job shavin' the beard off'n it and cleaning it up Doc.......:D Gave me a good laugh and will reshare it with a few folks this AM.:D

Sounds like all y'all (plural for y'all) are gonna have a good time today. Think I will be working on my BE shooting out back. Thinking about trying some left handed stuff.....after I increase the size of the back stop. Don't want to be sending any projectiles down to the public boat landing :eek: ......even if it is winter.:D
 

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hmmmmm

maybe that explains why that buddy of mine likes his new job at the zoo and why when we go to Hooters he neve has enuff dollars for a second beer!

I knew he was spending it somewhere.
 

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Definitely a joke for today

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a New England
Patriots fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are
Pats fans too. Not really knowing what a Pats fan was, but wanting to
be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one exception. Susie has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I'm not a patriot fan" she reports.
"Then," asks the teacher," What are you?"
"I'm an Indianapolis Colts fan" boasts the little girl.
The teacher asks Susie why she is a Colts fan.
"Well, my Dad and Mom are Colts fans, so I'm a Colts fan too" she responds.
"That's no reason," the teacher says. "What if your mom was a moron,
and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"
Susie smiles and says, "Then I'd be a New England Patriots fan."



Feel free to plug in the teams of your choice.........
 

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The horse and the chicken

The horse and the chicken

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.
One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.
Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.
Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit.

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral!)










When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!
 

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thats too funny

That out to stir up a few of them two wheeler fans on here!
 
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