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In light of Tuesday morning's discussion on power tools, you may find this information of some value.
The following are general descriptions of some commonly used tools and equipment.
DRILL PRESS
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had so carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
WIRE WHEEL
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, “Ouch….”
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL
Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.
SKILL SAW
A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
BELT SANDER
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub from which you want to remove the bearing race.
TABLE SAW
A large stationary power tool commonly used for launching wood projectiles to test wall integrity.
BAND SAW
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4
Used for levering an automobile upward off a hydraulic jack handle.
PHONE
Tool for calling your neighbors to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.
SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER
Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog crap off your boot.
E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR
A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps off in bolt holes you couldn’t use anyway.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST
A tool for testing the tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.
The following are general descriptions of some commonly used tools and equipment.
DRILL PRESS
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had so carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
WIRE WHEEL
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, “Ouch….”
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL
Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.
SKILL SAW
A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
BELT SANDER
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub from which you want to remove the bearing race.
TABLE SAW
A large stationary power tool commonly used for launching wood projectiles to test wall integrity.
BAND SAW
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4
Used for levering an automobile upward off a hydraulic jack handle.
PHONE
Tool for calling your neighbors to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.
SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER
Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog crap off your boot.
E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR
A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps off in bolt holes you couldn’t use anyway.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST
A tool for testing the tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.
