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In light of Tuesday morning's discussion on power tools, you may find this information of some value.

The following are general descriptions of some commonly used tools and equipment.

DRILL PRESS
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had so carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, “Ouch….”

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL
Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.

SKILL SAW
A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

BELT SANDER
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub from which you want to remove the bearing race.

TABLE SAW
A large stationary power tool commonly used for launching wood projectiles to test wall integrity.

BAND SAW
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.


HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4
Used for levering an automobile upward off a hydraulic jack handle.


PHONE
Tool for calling your neighbors to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.

SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER
Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog crap off your boot.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR
A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps off in bolt holes you couldn’t use anyway.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST
A tool for testing the tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.
 

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So true

I got a good laugh.
 

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Those are all spot on.

I didn't see an angle grinder on there. I have and have seen angle grinders wrap themselves up in clothing many times.

While my brother was working for me I seen him tangle with them more than once. I don't know if any of you have put a 6" cut off wheel on a 4 1/2" grinder and had it snag on you but let me tell you its a freaking handful. I told my brother numerous times "you better put the handle back on that grinder!" Not 5 minutes later I hear a bang and squeal and cussing to see it has kicked back and very tightly wrapped itself in almost all of the frontside of his tshirt along with carving a nice 4 or 5 inch strip of skin out as well!

I had one grab the front pocket of a sweatshirt once and ended up inside that pocket and leaving a nice abrasion on my stomach....I thought for sure it was gonna gut me right there.

I have been pretty lucky so far and not been hurt very bad and hope to keep it that way!
 

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I have a Dremel and as we all know there's a whole industry that has sprung up selling different cutting/grinding bits for Dremels. A year or so ago I was at a flea market or gun show and the guy had a whole table with several hundred different Dremel attachments, including some tiny little circular saw "bits." I bought three or four of those little saws in different sizes, but I haven't been brave enough to try one. Still doing my Dremel cutting with the abrasive cutoff wheels. Something just tells me that if one of those little saws hangs on something it'd be pretty easy for the whole Dremel to jump out of your hand, still spinning like mad and looking for something to cut. :eek::eek:
 

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And please be advised that many of these tools are available in pneumatic versions, making them even more powerful.....
 
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